A Teen Embarrassment Song: Buying Condoms & Pimple Cream

Lyrics:

Verse 1:
I stroll into the drugstore, trying to look all grown
But inside I’m freaking out, I’m here all on my own
No list from Mom, nope—these items are purely mine
Condoms, pimple cream… oh boy, it’s teenage prime time

I pick up that box of rubbers—haven’t used ‘em yet
But I’m staying optimistic, might as well be set
My face is burning, sweat is dripping, how do I stay cool?
My future self might thank me—still I feel like a fool

Chorus:
Oh, oh, oh—this might be the day
I buy condoms and pimple cream and hope I’m on my way
To maybe find a moment—maybe find a date
At least my skin will sparkle if I finally catch a break
Condoms and pimple cream—I’m so prepared it’s almost great

Verse 2:
I add some breath mints, just in case we ever kiss
A “How to Flirt” booklet—I can’t be missing this
A glance at the cashier, I’m certain she can see
Exactly why I’m buying everything for my teenage fantasy

I’m juggling all these secrets in my basket out in plain sight
But hey, I’m done with daydreams—time to get it right
If these zits calm down, maybe I’ll advance
And those just-in-case condoms can finally get a chance

Chorus:
Oh, oh, oh—this might be the day
I buy condoms and pimple cream and hope I’m on my way
To maybe find a moment—maybe find a date
At least my skin will sparkle if I finally catch a break
Condoms and pimple cream—I’m so prepared it’s almost great

Bridge:
I could’ve tried online—shipping discreet
But the mailman’s friends with Dad, that’s really not so sweet
So I brave the neon lights and the supermarket crowd
Hoping no one from my class is shouting my name aloud

Verse 3:
Checkout confrontation—here it goes
I act like buying grooming stuff is old news, I suppose
Card in the machine, the beep seals my fate
And I hurry outside to celebrate, or hyperventilate

Then I catch a glimpse in the window, see my face turn red
But a bag full of confidence is what I’ve got instead
Someday soon, I’ll look cooler—no pimples left to show
And if luck comes knockin’, well, I’m ready to go

Chorus:
Oh, oh, oh—this might be the day
I buy condoms and pimple cream and hope I’m on my way
To maybe find a moment—maybe find a date
At least my skin will sparkle if I finally catch a break
Condoms and pimple cream—I’m so prepared it’s almost great

Condoms and pimple cream—’cause hey, ya never know!