Lyrics:

[Verse 1]
I woke up to a sale at five AM
Scrolled through reviews I’ll never read again
LED unicorn slippers shining in my sight
A giant toast-bread pillow I just had to buy tonight
A plush banana doorstop—who needs that anyway?
But my cart kept filling up, oh Lord, I couldn’t stay away

[Pre-Chorus]
It’s click after click, can’t stop my spree
I’m drowning in glitter and novelty
My closet’s jammed, my wallet cries
Yet the shipping truck just drives on by

[Chorus]
Please don’t produce that, don’t sell that on Temu and Shein
I’ve got too many items that I didn’t really need
From a self-heating belt to a sushi plush so green
I’m an Ultra-Fast-Fashion Victim—don’t feed my buying greed

[Verse 2]
There’s a dog hair bow shaped like avocado skin
Giant plush sushi roll? I caved—yet again
A five-sleeved T-shirt I’ll never understand
But the discount made me click it, my question marks in hand
A “donut” office pillow, an inflatable hat
My friend said, “Are you serious?” I said, “I need all that!”

[Pre-Chorus]
A meltdown at the post office, boxes at my door
I lost track of reason after product four
Can’t fold my laundry with a sparkly brow-lift mask
The most absurd invention, hey, I didn’t even ask

[Chorus]
Please don’t produce that, don’t sell that on Temu and Shein
I’m collecting weird gadgets—I don’t know where they’ve been
So many “must-haves” cluttering my scene
I’m an Ultra-Fast-Fashion Victim—caught in shipping routine

[Bridge]
And oh, the environment weeps
Under mountains of plastic I heap
I pretend it’s all so cheap
But the planet pays, the planet keeps
My impulses locked in a spree
I keep on clicking (someone set me free!)

[Verse 3]
A 10-meter rainbow USB that tangles all the time
Cartoon toilet seat with sharks—my guests can’t hold a smile
Broccoli cat hats, I got three!
A waterkocher shaped like a Dino-Egg, see?
Now I’m singing this lament at midnight in my room
Buried under shipping peanuts, bubble wrap—and doom

[Pre-Chorus]
Recycled excuses fill my mind
I claim it’s fun, but it’s unkind
My friends all point and laugh, “Why’d you buy that, dude?”
I shrug as I hold on to my “Taco bag” of food

[Chorus]
Please don’t produce that, don’t sell that on Temu and Shein
I’m running out of space—where can I even clean?
I keep hitting “checkout” though my conscience intervenes
I’m an Ultra-Fast-Fashion Victim—somebody end this scene!

[Outro]
I’m an Ultra-Fast-Fashion Victim—somebody end this scene…
(Please… just end this scene!)